Baby thoughts

I have a couple of friends who are currently expecting their first child. I remember the excitement and anticipation of my little gift and the overwhelming sense of how life will change for myself and my husband. I remember loving being pregnant - feeling her moving inside me, kicking me, watching my belly move of its own volition. While I didn't love the stretch marks and the 40 lbs weight gain, I loved my belly and what it contained. Having been there myself, I am so happy for my friends, knowing how the whole process of pregnanacy and motherhood will profoundly change their lives for the better.

I want another child but my husband does not. He has his own reasons and I understand them. I refuse to force this issue on him because parenthood - even the second time around - is something one should take on willingly and wholeheartedly. But respecting his wishes does not diminish my desire for another baby. I still want to feel that tiny baby growing inside me again. I still want to hold that fresh new life in my arms, unblemished and full of possibilities. I still want to smell that special baby scent, which is strongest at the top of the head, and touch those tiny fingers and toes.

I have accepted that we will never have another child but the heart wants what it wants. I guess I will have to be satisfied with holding other people's newborn babes. I'm hoping my sister reads this. :)*wink wink*