Bad A** Momma

Consistency

I have previously expressed my fears with respect to raising daughters in our modern society. Whether one has a daughter or a son, being a parent is the most difficult (and the most rewarding) role one will ever endeavour to take in one's lifetime. Even as a lawyer who often finds herself dealing with complex legal and financial issues, day in and day out, I find my "job" as mom far more difficult than any task I perform in my profession.

As a Christian, I find parenting even more challenging. I know my girls are looking to me to be their example of what a Christian woman should be. And with that responsibility, I am hyper-aware of every inconsistency I see between what I say and what I do.

There have been times when my Makayla has pointed out that I am doing something I had previously told her not to do. A few days ago, I was apparently talking aloud at myself in the mirror. I didn't notice Makayla standing there and she heard me saying less-than-nice things about myself in the mirror. She said, "Stop talking about yourself like that, mommy. You always tell me that I am beautiful and God made me this way. Didn't God make you, too? He made you beautiful." At that time, like all the other times I have failed her, I humbled myself and asked her to forgive me for my oversight and I applauded her for telling mommy when she is not being consistent. As a flawed human being, I sometimes allow my emotions to override my thought processes or I get plain "lazy" and figure my girls won't notice. But they do notice and they notice EVERYTHING.

And with that knowledge, I strive to be a person worthy of my children. I still fail from time to time but God knows I do my best. And, on occasion, I see the good that I have done. I see my girls growing up with a sense of fairness, justice, compassion, right and wrong. They are affectionate and they never hesitate to express their love for each other and everyone else they love and care about; hugs and kisses are freely given in our home. I see them learning the importance of prayer and bringing all our joys and cares to God. And I have witnessed my own Makayla expressing profound gratitude for all the blessings she enjoys in her life.

I hope and pray that I am doing enough now to carry them into womanhood and that they will live their lives with consistency and not contradiction. I hope, someday, I prove myself worthy of my children.