Marriage is never a fairytale.

I don't normally follow or care about celebrities and their numerous hook-ups, separations or other drama. But after watching an MTV special on her, I became a Kate Hudson fan. I don't necessarily love her movies but I like the type of person she appears to be: positive, bubbly, genuine and free-spirited. Recently, she has reportedly separated from her husband, Chris Robinson. Prior to the news of their separation, Kate had stated, "I don't like this idea of the perfect marriage. People can be in love madly and deeply and go through so much and still end up together. That's what you hope for. No one should get married if they think it's going to be a fairytale." I couldn't agree with her more. She also revealed that they had an "open" marriage, something I do not agree with. Some would think that having an inclusive marriage is not much of a marriage at all.

Last night, I had a lively discussion with J, one of my husband's friends. He stated his belief that no man is truly capable of being monogamous because all men desire multiple sexual partners. The debate surrounding men and their biological wiring towards "spreading their seed" continues to swirl and so-called scientific studies that show an evolutionary basis for the average man's inclination to seek multiple sexual conquests seem to back up J's position . While I agree that men and women generally view sex differently (i.e. men can separate sex from love while women have a more difficult time doing so), I think, as human beings, men have the capacity to transcend their physical urges. The human being's ability to use his or her mental facilities - reason, self-control, self-discipline - to rule his or her physical self is what separates us from the animals. Yes, men may have the biological urge to have sex with as many women as they possibly can, but most men also have the mental capacity to control such urges. Thus, a married or otherwise involved man blaming his "biological inclinations" for his cheating ways is nothing but an immature, selfish child - unwilling to control his urges.

A real marriage requires hard work from both parties. It is never a fairy tale, with happily ever after, but is part drama and part comedy. While nature might make our eye wander, our hearts keep us anchored at home. But when our physical urges begin to surpass our love for our partner, perhaps it is a signal to let our partner go. Marriage without exclusivity of love - be it physical or emotional - is not a real marriage but just a cheap imitation.