The Joys of taking Public Transportation

I have lived in big cities most of my life - Toronto, Montreal, and now Boston. I have been taking public transportation on an almost daily basis since 7th grade and I know the "joys" of cramming into buses and trains with dozens of people - back to back, side to side and, sometimes, face to armpit. Despite my 20 years of experience in travelling with the masses, there are still types of people who take public transportation that drive me crazy. These types come in different colours, gender, shapes and sizes yet they all basically act the same way:

1. The "Butt-er": This person, seeing the crowd waiting behind the yellow line for the next train, sees fit to squeeze him/herself to the spot closest to the yellow line at the spot where the closest train door will open. This person believes he/she, being special in some way, deserves the coveted spot where the train door will open, allowing the prince/princess to enter the train before the lowly masses. The fact that many of the masses behind him/her have been waiting for the train for over 15 minutes before he/she arrived matters not to the butt-er. Given his/her self-conferred special status, he/she feels entitled to enter the train first, ensuring he/she will get a seat which he/she, of course, deserves, given the aforementioned special status.

2. The Pole-hugger: Not to be confused with the tree-hugger, the Pole-hugger's motivation lies in self-preservation and fear. The Pole-hugger fears injury from sudden stops on the train or bus. After finding a pole, the Pole-hugger will envelope it with both arms, hanging on for his/her dear life, thereby preventing all others access to the life-saving pole. All those around the Pole-hugger are wise to seek another pole since there is no way around the Pole-hugger unless one is tall enough to stretch his/her arms over the Pole-hugger to reach the top-most part of the pole that the Pole-hugger is unable to hug. Like the butt-er, the Pole-hugger feels somehow entitled to the pole to the exclusion of other passengers.

3. The Suddenly Blind passenger: These passengers have perfect vision when waiting, entering and finding a seat on the bus or train. However, when confronted with another passenger who, due to a physical condition, should be given the seat, this passenger suddenly goes blind. He/she becomes unable to see the crippled/elderly/very pregnant person before him/her. The Suddenly Blind passenger becomes unable to see the crippled/elderly/very pregnant person's obvious physical discomfort at having to stand on a crowded bus. The crippled/elderly/very pregnant person could be falling over, unable to keep him/herself up, yet the Suddenly Blind person will not offer his/her precious seat.

These are the most annoying types of passengers that I encounter while taking public transportation. I had the displeasure of meeting many Suddenly Blind passengers while I was pregnant. In fact, one day, when I was approximately 8 months pregnant (i.e. very obviously pregnant), I offered my seat to another pregnant woman. She looked like she was ready to give birth to twins yet no one offered her a seat on that crowded bus. As I stood up to offer her my seat, I noticed so many healthy, able-bodied men and women averting their eyes, suddenly interested in a hang nail or the tip of their shoes. Oh, the "joys" of taking public transportation!