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It's been a building up inside me for a while now. I have tried to ignore it but it has grown to the point where it is impossible for me to ignore.

I have been feeling extremely unhappy lately. I couldn't pinpoint the reason behind it; I would venture to say that it is an amalgam of many different factors, cirumstances, events and people in my life. It has come to the point where I just want to escape, to leave everything and everyone behind. I fantasize about starting over with a new identity but that is only a superficial fix. One can never forget her past, no matter how hard one tries. Most of all, a mother can never forget her children, no matter how far she runs away from home.

I have grown unhappy with the way I live, how I have lived my life thus far, my looks, my body, my so-called career. I torture myself with regrets regarding choices I have made that have brought me to where I am today. I know I cannot undo what I have done but I can do something about changing the course of my life. And that course, thus far, leads to nowhere but utter desperation. I can't live like this anymore. And I won't.